Confessions Of A Single Mom: How I Survived My First Years As A Parent

From high-powered productivity in the bathroom to taking naps in the school parking lot when I can, I’ve learned that creativity and flexibility is essential if you want to survive and actually enjoy this most rewarding of jobs.

Whether youre a couple or a single parent like me, chances are youll find a few creative parenting strategies below that you’ll need to perfect yourself. Don’t worry, you will.

Here, 32 things every parent must master:

1. Learn to fix broken toys while your child is peeing.

2. Brush your child’s teeth while they’re peeing.

3. Get your child changed for school while theyre peeing.

4. Hold impromptu business meeting on the phone while bathing your child.

5. Discuss your childs thoughts while you shower and he sits on the toilet.

6. Discuss your childs thoughts while you sit on the toilet and he sits just outside the bathroom door.

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7. Hang already worn clothes in the bathroom after youve taken a hot shower to steam clean.

8. Finally dive into that book you’ve been meaning to start while sitting on the toilet.

9. Get caught up with phone calls and texts while you get the idea.

10. Have deep and thought provoking discussions with yourself while waiting at the pickup lane at your child’s school.

11. Release pent up emotions over YouTube ads of children getting accepted to college and preparing to move out of the house.

12. Release pent up emotions over cute animal videos on YouTube.

13.Chop more vegetables than your family consumes in a year to help get you into zen mode when necessary.

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14. Get caught up on current events with the maintenance man, mailman, Jehovahs Witnesses, solicitors, and other adults who come to your door.

15. Talk out loud about the next actions you’ll be taking. For instance: I think I got everything on my list Was I supposed to turn there? I think I should try these on in an attempt to separate your immediate thoughts from all the other noise running through your head.

16. Develop diaper sniffing skills so advanced that you can do it in mid-conversation without pausing.

17. Start to have dance parties with The Wiggles and Barney. At least you don’t have to worry about getting hit on by creeps.

18. Accept that out with my girls now means Zumba classes at the gym.

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19. Eat food thats fallen out of your childs mouth.

20. Wipe your childs nose with your bare hand.

21. Wipe a booger from your childs face with your bare hand.

22. Saliva — it’s a natural cleaning method.

23. Shower every day? Pshhh I’m not that fancy, and you don’t have to be either.

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24. It’s OK if you pass out on the laundry room floor, hunched over a clean basket of clothes while the kids are at school.

25. Learn to nap while standing against the kitchen counter while waiting for the water to boil.

26. Sit in your car in your childs school parking lot for a 15 minute power nap just so you can safely make it home.

27. Reading business plans for story time to get two things done at once.

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28. Review you to-do list out loud using funny voices to keep your baby entertained.

29. Arrange food in your child’s plate with care so the peas do not touch the mashed potatoes. Meltdown averted.

30. Eat leftovers on the kids’ plates instead of preparing a plate for yourself because you’re thrifty and and an expert in conserving energy.

31. Blow on food thats in your childs mouth because he says its still hot.

32. Quietly indulge in that delicious $4 candy bar in the coat closet so you don’t have to share.

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Being a parent can be crazy at times! Weve all been there and I truly believe our kids appreciate all we do for them — yes, even as we stuff breakfast in their faces while rushing them half dressed to their classroom every morning.

What creative parenting skills are you proud of? Make sure to share with us in the comments!

For more on Carmen Sakurai visit her blogNinja Mom DiariesandFacebook.

Read more: https://www.littlethings.com/confessions-of-a-single-parent/